RS: Rather reaffirms one's faith in the local constablery.
License to Steele, Oct 1, 1982
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RS: It's very difficult to maintain a relationship built solely on mistrust, gentlemen.
License to Steele, Oct 1, 1982
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JM: Somebody's been red-dogging me.
RS: We don't handle animal cases.
Jim Meechum and Remington Stelle, in: Tempered Steele, Oct 8, 1982
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RS: Everyone knows that Remington Steele's word is his bond.
Tempered Steele, Oct 8, 1982
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BF: What I want is a slightly dull, filthy-rich husband. But if I were in the market for a heart-stopping, tooth-rattling, eye-rolling flame ... POOOFFFFFFFF...
Bernice Fox, in: Tempered Steele, Oct 8, 1982
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RS: When there is honor amongst thieves you never rip off a fellow miscreant.
Tempered Steele, Oct 8, 1982
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RS: First you deflate my duck, and now you want to wreck my goose. Wonderful.
A Good Night's Steele, Jan 21, 1983
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PW: I am curious. Just what would you say you got from this experience?
RS: In some, that Cambridge is on the Cam and Oxford is on the Thames.
PW: What a succinct way of defining their philosophical differences!
RS and Percy Winfield, in: Steele Crazy after all these Years, Feb 18, 1983
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She has more surgical scars than Frankenstein. Only he has a higher IQ.
Steele in the News, March 4, 1983
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To understand the humor of the following two items one needs to know that Efran Zimbalist, Jr., (Daniel Chalmers) is talking to his physical daughter, Stephanie Zimbalist, (Laura Holt) while dancing with her in the living room, while Beverly Garland (Mrs. Holt), the mother of Laura Holt in the episode, is preparing dinner in the kitchen in the "Sting of Steele" episode (Apr 5, 1983).
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DC: I took the liberty to ask your mother to have dinner with me.
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DC: I am sure your daughter and I can find something to chat about while you are basking our rabbit.
Mrs. Holt: Oh, well, I guess it would be a good idea if you got to know one another.
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Sherry: You tell a man you are a doctor of psychology, you end up going home yourself. They are afraid you are out there analysing their performance or something. At least as a stewardess I stand a chance of getting lucky.
Steele in Circulation, Apr 12, 1983
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I am just a washed-up bureaucrat. I should be home knitting.
Altared Steele, Oct 11, 1983
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Mrs. Trust: Contracts are made to be broken.
RS: What a healthy attitude. After all, that's what keeps us lawyers in Cadillacs.
Scene Steelers, Nov 15, 1983
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RS: But wouldn't it seem logical, and I know that is a strange word to you, for her simply to kill Heather?
Scene Steelers, Nov 15, 1983
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LH: I think we have some good news and some bad news, Derek.
Derek: What's the good news?
LH: You are no longer a suspect.
Derek: Well, what's the bad news?
LH: You are definitely the victim.
Scene Steelers, Nov 15, 1983
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LH: I like a man that has more than one dimension.
High-Flying Steele, Jan 17, 1984
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RS: Laura, you told me yourself the secret to surveillance is to blend in. (pause)
LH: Sometimes I wish I'd stayed at the math department.
Steele Sweet on You, Feb 7, 1984
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RS: I am told that one of the great frustrations of being a master criminal is the inability to take credit for one's own craft.
Hounded Steele, May 15, 1984
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LH: Let's just say I have a soft spot for charming men with mysterious past.
Hounded Steele, May 15, 1984
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To understand the following, one needs to remember that Pierce Brosnan will fight and kill Bond-villain Renard in "The World is not Enough", 1999.
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RS: It would be an honor to assist someone as gifted as "Le Renard".
Hounded Steele, May 15, 1984
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LH: One man's pornography is another man's poetry.
Elementary Steele, May 22, 1984
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RS: If there is anything I can't stand it is someone how doesn't reveal his true identity.
Elementary Steele, May 22, 1984
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LH: When you are with swine you begin to resemble a pork chop.
Elementary Steele, May 22, 1984
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LH: Disgrace can be contagious.
Steele at It, Sep 25, 1984
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RS: You managed to hold me off for two years. The least you could have done was hold him up for five minutes.
Steele at It, Sep 25, 1984
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RK: Baseball is a lot more than just a game, Mr. Steele. It is a way of life. It is ... America!
Ralph Kelsie, Second Base Steele, Oct 23, 1984
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RS: I have heard of love triangle ... but tetrahedron!
Second Base Steele, Oct 23, 1984
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RS: That's what I love about you, Laura. You keep narrowing this case down to include everyone.
Second Base Steele, Oct 23, 1984
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LH: It's simple. The killer is bound to come after us. All we have to do is catch him before he succeeds.
Second Base Steele, Oct 23, 1984
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LH: Someone wants Reggie dead.
RS: Right, no-one will believe I am not him.
LH: Which just might be to our advantage. As long as you continue to play Reggie, they all keep trying to kill you.
Blue-Blooded Steele, Oct 30, 1984
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Jackie: How many of there are you?
A Pocketful of Steele, Nov 20, 1984
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LH: He's off the hook now. He's dead.
RS: Well that's no excuse.
LH: Try telling him that.
A Pocketful of Steele, Nov 20, 1984
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RS: My philosophy, Mildred, is, nothing in life is worth doing unless it can be accomplished by a shortcut.
Puzzled Steele, Nov 27, 1984
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LH: Mr. Steele, I have great respect for your ability to generate animosity around the globe.
Cast in Steele, Dec 4, 1984
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MK: I mean, it's bad enough to be kidnapped, but to be returned?
Cast in Steele, Dec 4, 1984
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LH: The one we are looking for is the one that doesn't try to kill you.
Cast in Steele, Dec 4, 1984
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LH: Atomic Man is wanted for murder.
RS: Really? I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.
Stronger than Steele, Jan 15, 1985
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RS: Really? Laura, you have not only reverted to childhood, you have practically returned to the womb.
Stronger than Steele, Jan 15, 1985
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RS: Can two killers alibi each other?
Steele on the Air, Jan 7, 1986
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RS: Laura, speaking as the deceased in question here, I think it's fair to chalk this one up as a coincidence.
Steele, Inc., Jan 14, 1986
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LH: Need I remind you, Mr. Steele, that you may have been murdered last night!
RS: That doesn't impede us from having a good time.
Steele, Inc., Jan 14, 1986
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Oh, nothing to worry about? I've been impersonated, assaulted, kidnapped, shot at, murdered -- it's not even noon yet!
Steele, Inc., Jan 14, 1986
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RS: Precisely! The man was shot nearby and merely chose your linoleum to expire on.
Suburban Steele, Feb 11, 1986
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RS: She has a point to prove, Mildred.
MK: What's that?
RS: That a woman with intelligence, determination, a certain amount of training can be just as stupid macho as everyone.
MK: Come down to that, huh? You mean we are playing clay pidgeons so she can play the battle of the sexes?
RS: Huh, the only battle worth fighting for, Mildred!
Steele Blue Yonder, Feb 22, 1986
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RS: Butlers don't get murdered, they *commit* murder, everyone knows that!
Steele at Your Service, Mar 15, 1986
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RS: Laura, how is it that when I do something dangerous, it's reckless, but when you do something suicidal, it's a good idea?
Steele in the Running, Mar 22, 1986
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RS: Laura, how is it that whenever you lose your temper, it's being honest, and whenever I lose my temper, it's being testy?
Steele in the Running, Mar 22, 1986
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VD: Holy Magnolia, you mean I framed myself for a kidnapping that never happened?
Little Girl: What an idiot!
Vince Dowd and Little Girl, in: Steele Alive and Kicking, May 3, 1986
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ND: I figured I could always get another husband, but where would I get another 250 thousand dollars?
VD: She does have a point.
Nedra Dowd and Vince Dowd, in: Steele Alive and Kicking, May 3, 1986
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RS: Just don't use my razor on your legs. It nicks the blades.
The Steele that wouldn't Die, January 5, 1987
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TR: What a team! I do all the work, you do all the bitching.
LH: Well at least I am doing a better job than you are.
The Steele that wouldn't Die, January 5, 1987
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LH: I'm just a girl trying to have a honeymoon. Only it is a little difficult if your husband is behind bars.
The Steele that wouldn't Die, January 5, 1987
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LH: You got yourself a suspect. Now all I have to do is convert her into a murderer.
The Steele that wouldn't Die, January 5, 1987
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RS: Don't you find it the least bit uncomfortable having a murderer along on our honeymoon?
LH: He told us he was set up. I'm sure he'll give us full details in due time.
RS: The only details he has given us for the last four years concerns his career in major leage baseball.
Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: If no-one's been paid for the last 59 years, why do they stay?
MO'F: Well, the way we look at it, Sir, having a job that doesn't pay is better than having no job at all.
RS: That's an interesting perspective.
RS and Mickelin O'Flynn, Major Domo, Head Factotum, Chief of Staff, Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: You made one fatal mistake.
M-KO'D: What was that?
RS: You were the only one that didn't present me with a bill.
RS and Mary-Kate O'Donohue, Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: Well see, as I am already on the hook for harboring a fugitive I don't see what difference it is gonna make kidnapping a KGB agent.
Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: Given our past differences, Anthony, I suggest a strategic retreat is in order.
AR: Why the hell can't you just say: RUN!!!
Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: Though I normally like to believe honesty is the best policy, I don't think Laura would condone our kidnapping a KGB section chief.
AR: What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?
RS: My sentiments exactly!
Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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RS: Intelligence can be a leaky business at best.
Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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MK: This joint's been on the market since 1532.
RS: Aha. Well, it's time to change brokers, eh?
RS and MK, Steeled with a Kiss, April 17, 1987
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Here's what's really unusual about this group: four writers in a room, only one Jew.
Jeff Melvoin, Executive Writer, Remington Steele, on DVD commentary
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